RQG 63 - Harrison Cambell!
Summary The party's journey to Prague aboard Amelia Earhart's ship continues. Bertie finally tracks down Campbell, Zolf meets his hero, Sasha gets athletic, and Hamid gets critical. Synopsis Bertie is snooping throughout Campbell’s room; he finally realizes that it’s the same guy who wrote the romance novels that Zolf loves. He starts digging through Campbell’s stuff and finds a traveler’s trunk, full of clothes and two smaller locked chests. Both of them look like safeboxes. He also finds a few papers in a folder in the trunk; some of the letters describe Campbell’s trip to Paris, and meeting Bertie, and Bertie gets annoyed when he realizes that Campbell is mocking him. He starts trying to find Campbell, but isn’t successful, and eventually gives up to go to sleep. The party wakes up the next morning; Sasha sneaks up to the front deck to find somewhere to stay so that Zolf and Bertie won’t be able to find her. She finds someone in there already: a small, shivering gentleman (aka Harrison Campbell) with normal clothes and a smoking jacket on. He pulls Sasha into the nook and she sits down in the corner, out of the sight of staircases. They start chatting for a while. Bertie is still looking for Campbell. He’s already checked the lounge, and isn’t able to find him. To him, it seems like everyone else apart from Hamid has disappeared as well. Zolf wants to pull everyone together for a team meeting about what to do next. He goes looking for Sasha and finds her sitting in the nook next to Campbell, but doesn’t recognize him at all. He pops his head in and Zolf asks her to come out so they can have the meeting. Campbell pulls Zolf into the nook as well, and Zolf expresses concern for how freezing he is. Campbell asks where the meeting is going to be and Zolf asks why he’s so interested in what they’re doing. Sasha tries to de-escalate the situation and mentions Bertie; Campbell has a physical reaction, and Zolf asks if he’s Bertie’s ex-lover, and Campbell says no. Sasha mentions that it’s not surprising for people to not want to interact with Bertie, and Zolf says fair enough. They head down to Zolf and Hamid’s cabin, grabbing Bertie and Hamid on the way. They begin to discuss plans for what to do once they’re in Prague. Bertie is mumbling something about Campbell, and Zolf and Hamid and Sasha are trying to figure out where to go first, how to meet up with Wilde again, and what they need to learn. While Hamid is speaking, Zolf heads over to the door to his cabin and throws it open, spotting Harrison Campbell with frost on his smoking jacket carrying a load of food. Campbell sees him as well, and then heads up to the top deck. Bertie asks what’s outside, and Zolf says nothing. They decide to go to the university. Hamid and Sasha ask about Amelia offering help to Zolf, and Zolf says he didn’t take anything from her because he doesn’t want to be in debt to her or to the Harlequins. They both say that Zolf should have taken the offer, and Hamid mentions that Zolf doesn’t seem to feel the cold, and then immediately backtracks to say it’s because Zolf is a sailor, not because Zolf is a dwarf. Bertie, who has barely been paying attention the entire time, suddenly turns to Zolf and accuses him of being Harrison Campbell. Zolf is incredibly confused and asks why Campbell would be on this ship, only for Sasha to tell him that he is on the ship – Zolf starts shouting and Hamid asks who on Earth Campbell is. Bertie and Zolf get into an argument about Campbell, and Sasha informs him that Zolf’s already met him as well – he was the shivering man in the nook, who Zolf hadn’t recognized. Hamid asks, again, who Campbell is, and Zolf says he’s the greatest romance novelist ever; Hamid does not seem to agree. Jump cut to the four of them on the ship, not speaking to each other. Sasha is up on the crow’s nest, and the gnome crew member there gives her a hot cocoa and a fur and is chatting with her about their travels. Hamid is in the lounge as well, reading a copy of a Harrison Campbell novel with a disgusted look on his face. Zolf is grumbling to himself in the lounge, ignoring Hamid because he’s angry at him, and is internally debating whether or not he should be looking for Campbell. Bertie has worked out that Campbell is probably on the top deck and heads up to search for him. He searches the entire top deck, looking everywhere. Sasha, up in the crow’s nest, glances down and sees Campbell peek out and spot Bertie, but Bertie hasn’t spotted him yet. At the last minute she starts calling Bertie’s name; he completely fails to hear her, and Campbell makes a dash for it – straight into Bertie’s armour as he falls. Bertie immediately starts threatening Campbell, and then tosses Campbell over the side of the ship. He’s still hooked in to the guideline, so he’s just hanging there screaming, and Sasha quickly hops down from the crow’s nest and knocks Bertie aside, heading down to pull on the rope closer to the edge of the ship. All of a sudden, there’s a gunshot from behind them and they both turn to see Amelia standing there with her gun trained on Bertie, asking him what’s going on. Sasha is trying to pull Campbell up, and Bertie changes his focus to Amelia. Sasha starts swinging Campbell left and right until he is able to grab onto a porthole on the lower floor and crawls into the ship with the help of someone from the crew. Bertie looks over the side and doesn’t see Campbell, assumes he fell to his death. Amelia, who has seen the entire thing happening, suggests that Bertie should make sure that Campbell really fell. Bertie, taking her at her suggestion, also decides to jump over the edge of the ship. Sasha, before he can, clips another guideline onto Bertie to make sure he doesn’t die (because Hamid would be upset). He takes his armour off before going over the edge. It’s much windier off the edge, and Bertie climbs down as he tries to look for Campbell off the edge of the ship. Amelia opens her door and looks at the situation, and then motions to a crew member. They jog over, holding a vat of some kind, and shows it to Sasha – it looks like cooking oil, and Sasha is sort of hesitant, saying that they need him, and the crew shrugs and says that the guidelines are fine before pouring the grease over the edge. Bertie is now covered in grease and the side of the ship above Bertie is covered in grease. He tries to move to the side and immediately slips, swinging back to his original position, and Sasha heads off to get a snack. Zolf, having seen Campbell swinging from the guideline from his seat in the lounge, runs up on deck. He starts panicking, asking what the hell is going on and Amelia comes over to explain the situation to him. Zolf runs over to the guideline and meets Sasha at the edge of the ship, who’s looking over the edge and giggling as Bertie tries to get up. Zolf tries to undo the guidelines as Sasha pulls him back, and then the crew comes up and pulls him back, trying to tie him to the mast. They grab his legs and go straight through the water, and run back to the edge. Sasha tries to stop him but Zolf gets around her, starting to undo the guideline. Amelia, who now has a weird device in her hands, rolls a ball between Zolf’s feet and it explodes in a ball of gas. It doesn’t affect Zolf at all, and then Amelia steps forward, pulls her gun, and levels it at Zolf’s head to get him to stop. Sasha and Amelia both try to calm Zolf down, and Zolf starts running down the list of all the stuff Bertie has done. Bertie is still swinging below the ship. Sasha mentions that killing Bertie would make Hamid upset, and Zolf agrees. Amelia says that Zolf can decide when Bertie gets back up, and Zolf decides to step down and let Bertie swing under the ship. Hamid, meanwhile, is sitting in the lounge after having read the Harrison Campbell book, calling it a load of rubbish. He has no idea any of the drama on the deck is even happening. Fast forward an hour and a half. Bertie isn’t taking damage from the cold, but he’s shivering and beginning to cramp from the cold. Amelia finally peers over the edge and apologizes, then gets the crew to pull Bertie back up, dumping him onto the ship. Quotes * Sasha: Well, there you, there you are, Zolf, that explains it. Someone would—I can imagine, a random member of the public would be totally willing to put themselves in physical harm's way to stay out of the area of Mr Macguffingham. -- * Bertie stands up and points at Zolf: J’accuse Harrison Campbell! * Zolf: What? Why would Harrison Campbell be on this ship? * Sasha: Well, I mean. He is. * Zolf shocked: What? * Hamid: Who’s Harrison Campbell? * Bertie outraged: Where is Harrison Campbell?! * Zolf ''aghast'': You don’t know who Harrison Campbell is?! -- * Zolf: When did you meet Harrison Campbell?! * Sasha: I mean, you met Harrison Campbell * Zolf: No I didn’t, I… * Sasha: He’s just a shivery man. * Zolf: That was Harrison Campbell?! * Bertie: Shivery man? * Hamid completely bewildered: When? Who? What? Why? What is going on here?! -- * Zolf: I think you’ll find With The Passion of the Sun is the greatest romance novel ever written! * Hamid: What? * Zolf: With the Passion of the Sun! * Sasha: There’s two of them actually, spelt both ways. * Zolf: Yeah! Because one is about the, the sequel, right, is about the original couple’s son! And he’s very passionate, it’s a genius piece of work. * Hamid: This doesn’t sound like literature, as such? * Zolf: What? Look, I’m not gonna have any of your gatekeeping here alright. It’s literature. It’s art. This is art. * Hamid: I mean it’s not quite Shakespeare, is it? -- * Ben: I’m in the lounge behind Hamid, ignoring him because he obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about, debating with myself whether I should go and try to find Harrison Campbell. “Oh I really want to do it, but maybe, I’m gonna make an absolute fool of myself. But I could ask him about that sequel! But no, no, no, keep it cool. Don’t embarrass yourself.” -- * Bertie: Ah, Mr Campbell ... pleasure to see you again. * Campbell: He-hello ... and you ... * Bertie: Now, a more paranoid man might think, hm, that he's being deliberately avoided. (Alex rolls a die) * James, as Bertie: Yeah, you're right to drop that croissant. -- * Zolf: I’ll murder the treacherous snake! * Earhart: He’s learning his lesson. * Zolf: I don’t care! He deserves a more terminal one! I have had it with his constant endangering of the people that I like and love. I have had it with his arrogance and I have had it with all of his complete rubbish that he keeps doing! -- * Earhart: Zolf, listen, you really don’t want to do this and I don’t want to have to have my crew literally knock you out. * Sasha: Mate, mate, just calm it! He’s really useful, we’ve learned to manage him * Zolf: No. He’s not that useful. * Sasha: Well, I mean… * Zolf: What’s on your back? What did he do to the dog? How has he been useful? Just explain to me! * Sasha: I mean he’s cut quite a lot of bad people in half. * Zolf: I can get a brick wall with wheels on that would be more useful than he would! * Sasha: I mean…yeah. * Zolf: We cannot have him. Everywhere he goes, he tries to murder somebody. Well maybe he gets a bit of a taste of his own medicine! -- * Sasha: Look, mate it would really upset Hamid, and Hamid’s a nice guy, right? * Zolf sighs: It would upset Hamid. -- * Hamid: What a load of melodramatic, poorly written rubbish! * Ben, as Zolf: Right, he's going over the side too! Dice rolls and Mechanics Bertie makes a wisdom check to remember who Campbell is: 15. Bertie makes a perception check to search Campbell’s room: 16. Bertie makes a perception check to find Campbell: 6. Sasha makes a perception check to find somewhere to stay for the day: 15. Zolf makes a perception check to find Sasha: 22. Bertie makes a perception check to find Campbell: 4. Bertie makes a perception check to hear Sasha: nat 1. Bertie and Sasha roll combat maneuver checks to pull Campbell up: Sasha gets 18, Bertie gets 15. Bertie makes a will save to not jump over the edge of the ship: 2. Bertie makes a climb check once he’s off the edge of the ship: 12. Bertie makes a fort save against cold: 16. Bertie makes a climb check to get up the ship: 5. Bertie makes a fort save against cold: 10. Zolf and Sasha make combat maneuver rolls against each other: Zolf gets 17, Sasha gets 10. Zolf makes a fort save against the gas Amelia threw at him: 27. Plot Notes Category:Episode Category:Season 2